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OK, I know what you’re thinking…Alex, I know how to say ‘no’ – there you go, I literally just said it!
Whilst I’m certain you know how to say no, let’s be honest, you probably don’t say it as often – or feel as comfortable about saying it – as you should.
The most common feeling we experience is guilt. Which often leads to us over-explaining our reason for saying no, begin profusely apologising for it, or – even worse – lying. And quite frequently, even though we know we should be saying no, we find ourselves saying yes but for all the wrong reasons.
The whole concept of learning how to say no was outlined to me in Chloe Brotheridge’s book, Brave New Girl*
Brotheridge explains, ‘The essential reason we struggle to say no is, we’re worried what people will think’. She continues, ‘What you have to remember is, saying no is good for your mental, physical, emotional, and financial health. It’s a powerful act of self-care and self-love.’
This is an advertorial feature for Life Lessons Festival.
Coming to London this weekend (15-16th February 2020) is a brand new festival promising a never-before-seen take on well-being…
Life can be many things – wonderful, challenging, rewarding, tough, joyful, short. Yes, there are circumstances in life we can’t control but we can be in control of our response to them. This is your life and there are plenty of things you can (and should!) do to increase your enthusiasm & love for it.
Wouldn’t it be great if just like our electronic devices, we came with a charger! I mean, the moment you start to falter you just plug in and boost your energy level right back up to full. Ideal right?
Whilst sadly this solution won’t be available any time soon, there are some easy to implement alternatives to help you feel energised again.
Now, eating healthily and regular exercise are a given, aren’t they? I just want to point that out in case you’re wondering why I haven’t included them. Instead, I want to share with you 5 other natural ways you maybe hadn’t considered yet!
Good to know: If you would like advice on increasing energy through diet the NHS provide helpful guidance here.
One, because it’s the 2nd anniversary of Living.Pretty.Happy and two, because of our focus for this month.
February’s theme is not something we’ve really touched on before but it’s an area I consider to offer us bags of potential for fun!
VITALITY [Well-being definition] Feeling energetic/full of energy.
Yes, our overall health is a big consideration as part of our topic but I want us to focus in more on developing our energy & enthusiasm for life. Let’s work on giving ourselves the type of get-up and go that can really take us places and open doors for a world of opportunity & enjoyment.
Vision boards, dream boards, call-them-what-you-will boards, are perhaps one of the best tools to get you ultra-focused on your goals.
Once you understand your purpose & truly know what you want, I personally see vision boards as the next logical step in helping you achieve all that you aspire to.
Quite simply it’s a board or piece of paper upon which you create a collage of photos, pictures, words & quotes visually representing your goals & dreams.
The idea is to get you focused & motivated to work on and ultimately achieve your goals. By picking images & words that resonate with you and looking at them daily, you’ll strengthen & stimulate all the right emotions to push you forward.
“You are worth more than this” a short statement which held so much power for an acquaintance of mine whilst they were experiencing a period of obsessive behaviour. For them, those six little words were enough to shift their mindset when the behaviour occurred.
Positive, affirmative statements – commonly referred to as affirmations – repeated quietly in our own minds (or declared aloud) can have the ability to override negative thinking and bring us to more desired outcomes.
Maybe you wake up in a bad mood, or something goes wrong (or both!) then, just like a small snowball rolling down a snow-covered hill gaining momentum and size – so too does the awfulness of your day.
The good news? It’s relatively easy to stop a snowball in its tracks, especially if you quash it early enough. And in the same vein, you have the potential to stop a bad day in its tracks by adjusting your mindset.
Why do you need to live your life with purpose? Perhaps you don’t, perhaps you’re perfectly happy without purpose? But perhaps if you ever catch yourself questioning why you do what you do and what it’s all for, or you feel there’s a life you were meant to live which doesn’t quite sync with the one you’re actually living, or you just don’t feel quite fulfilled, then having a purpose could resolve all that.
When choosing the focus for this month I felt inclined to lead with vitality. I mean, New Year is often the time we decide to get fitter & healthier, maybe you’re even taking on Veganuary?
But then another theme jumped out at me, spoke to me if you will. It was something I found difficult to ignore and epitomised what I personally want to give a lot of focus to not just this month but throughout this year and beyond.
Back in April, I took Living.Pretty.Happy (& hopefully all of you) on a more focused mission to help increase our sense of well-being.
It’s believed that an increased feeling of happiness & overall life satisfaction is achieved when all elements of our well-being are in balance. I talked more about these areas in Improving Well-Being: The Key to Being Happy?
This year we started focusing in on 9 of them, highlighting each in turn every month. Whilst we still have a few more to go, I felt with 2019 drawing to a close, a quick look back might help us to realise how far we have come.
It’s perfectly natural to want to feel closer to the people in our lives. The strength of our connections is often highlighted to us more so at Christmas than at any other time of the year.
Therefore, Christmas is a great opportunity for us to do some very simple things in order to help build our bonds with those we hold dear.
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I love discovering new things. Especially when said ‘new things’ aren’t things you would necessarily stumble across on the high street. Discovering products that make my life a bit easier, help me feel happier & maybe even indulge me just a smidge are absolute winners in my book.
This year, I’ve been fortunate enough to discover upon some real gems. So I’ve wrapped them up neatly here for you complete with a great a big Living.Pretty.Happy bow on top. I hope you’ll join me in supporting these fantastic – and on the whole – small, UK-independent companies this Christmas & beyond…
This is my mantra. It resonates so deeply within me. When I say it (and I say it daily) it reassures & motivates me. Who’d have thought just repeating these simple words could have such a powerful effect, but that’s the beauty of a mantra.
A personal mantra is a positive phrase or affirmative statement that you say to yourself for the purpose of motivation and encouragement. The words you choose have the power to alter your mood as well as your mindset.
Truth is, I only discovered my personal mantra recently.
Could there be a more fitting theme for the most festive month of the year?
For the last 3-months we’ve really been looking inward, focusing on self-awareness, self-acceptance & most recently self-worth. Now it’s time to look to our loved ones, to our families & friends – to our network.
To me, there are 3 types of relationships: the good, the bad and the room for improvement.
Sometimes the hardest thing – especially for us women – is to take time for ourselves, to practice self-care.
There have been countless times I’ve wanted to just sit & breathe. But there is always something to do, someone to help, somewhere to be. If I took 5-minutes for myself, my inner-critic would rear her ugly head to chastise me for my selfish laziness. Sound familiar?
What was it saying to myself? My needs don’t matter. And if you buy into this notion, you’re only headed in one direction… burnout. Maybe mentally, maybe physically, maybe both.
However, it really doesn’t need to be that way. We all have the ability to build some level of self-care into our lives. In fact, it’s something we should all be practising daily.
Say 3 good things about yourself…
I’m a good friend. Are you? Are you really though? I have a list of your epic friend-fails to hand if you want it! I’m hardworking. Seriously? I’ve met sloths more hardworking than you! I have a big heart. What so it fits in your fat body?
Up until earlier this year she dominated my thought process so much I couldn’t say even one good thing about myself. However, through working as I do focusing on well-being, I began to notice it more & start to label the behaviour, thus putting it at the forefront of something I urgently needed to address.
It’s difficult to pinpoint the moment I silenced my inner enemy. The majority of it occurred through the therapy I undertook. That’s not to say only therapy will quieten it down. I also learnt a lot by listening to well-being talks & reading self-help books – so the answers are out there.
Subscription boxes have definitely been on the rise over the last few years. I’m a fan & have loved subscribing to beauty boxes in particular. For me, it’s a monthly treat to myself delivered direct to my door – almost like a little investment in myself.
So when I learned about a subscription box that took self-investment to the next level, I was intrigued and since trying it out, also very impressed!
Today I’m joined by author Rosey Lee as she talks about why she writes to uplift & also discusses her new flash fiction series…
I’ve always enjoyed that books offer an escape from the challenges and frustrations we experience in everyday life. I’ve spent hours engrossed in characters’ lives, and I feel comforted, energized, and hopeful after reading a good story. But I’m frustrated if I reach the end of a story and find that the ending isn’t a happy one. After investing my time in characters and their journey, I don’t want to be disappointed.