Let’s be clear from the get go, your worth has zero to do with how you look, your bank balance or your material belongings. Literally nothing to do with these things. So if you’re here thinking that’s how you build self-worth, get ready to turn your attention elsewhere.
As I mentioned in the self-worth month launch post – self-worth relates to how much you value yourself regardless of these things. And investing the time to start building a healthy sense of it is one of the wisest & most-rewarding things you’ll do in this one lifetime you get.
Personally, I know what it’s like to feel you have zero self-worth. I’ve been there, I lived there for a long time. But I also know, that it’s possible to ‘increase your stock’ so to speak.
As we build self-worth, the way we think & act towards ourselves naturally improves, which in-turn has a knock-on positive effect on our interactions with others. It’s a statement to the world isn’t it…I know my worth, I treat myself with love & respect – you need to do the same.
Here are 5 ways to build self-worth…
Awareness & Acceptance
Knowing & accepting yourself, is the best foundation for you to build self-worth upon.
It’s tricky to fall in love with a person you don’t know – on a meaningful, long-lasting level at any rate. In order to get to a place of healthy self-worth, you absolutely need to get to know & understand yourself first.
If you need some help with this, Simone shared her tips for increasing self-awareness here: Self-Awareness – A Guest Post by Simone Phillips. I also found the therapy I undertook this year to be a big benefit in helping increase my self-awareness too. Maybe it’s something you might like to consider?
Once you’re aware of all that makes up you, then you need to take the steps to accept it. I’ve spoken more about how to learn to accept yourself in: The Path to Self-Acceptance. But one of the key elements of coming to accept yourself is undertaking the process of letting go & forgiving yourself.
You can access an affirmation I’ve written for self-forgiveness here.
Ask yourself this question…
Granted this is quite a strong question, but it gets you thinking of your internal value rather than value you perceive from external sources.
Maybe you’re generous with your time? A good listener? Are you loving & kind? What about a good problem solver? Perhaps quick-witted? How about calm under pressure?
These are the qualities you can hold on to no matter what happens in the world around you – this is where real self-worth is discovered.
Write a life CV
This is another little exercise and perhaps a good one to do if you’re struggling to answer the previous question.
We’ve nearly all had to compile a CV for work before – but how about spending 10-minutes, writing one to reflect your life?
What life experience do you have? What has it taught you? What do you do well? Imagine your friends or loved ones as character references, what would they say about you?
Hint: You wouldn’t include your not-so-great points on a CV for an actual job – so don’t include them here. A CV is basically a sales-sheet so get selling yourself to yourself.
A healthy level of self-worth ensures that circumstances & people do not define you. Which is great! However, in the same breath, it also removes the excuse that circumstances & people are responsible for your happiness or lack of it. They aren’t. Only you are responsible for how satisfied you feel within yourself.
When it comes to you, you hold all the power – use it! My advice is don’t put up with people treating you poorly, communicate with them or move on if you need to. Work to improve or change what you’re unhappy with, don’t leave your happiness up to others, it’s your job not theirs.
You’re also in control of your inner-critic by the way – so make sure you keep them in check. For help & advice on this read: Silencing Your Inner Critic
Invest in yourself
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…
Predominantly for me, it’s about giving yourself time. Time to rest, time to learn, time to develop. It’s about practising self-care, showing kindness & compassion towards yourself & pushing yourself forward on a path that sparks a fire within your belly.
These actions signal to your inner-self that you are worth the focus & care. Make sure to make investments in you daily.
Let me conclude with this…
In this day and age with so much around us signalling we’re not enough, we’re falling behind, we’re missing out – it’s depressing. No wonder our mental health is suffering like never before. But working on building self-worth ensures that none of this defines us anymore. So believe it & work on it consistently – it’s guaranteed to make you feel happier.
Watch: A clever lesson in self-worth by Meir Kay. It’s only a minute & sums self-worth up perfectly.
It’s Self-Worth month on Living.Pretty.Happy – simply pop your email in the Stay Happy box below & you won’t miss out on any of it!
How do you try to build self-worth? Have you tried any of these tips before? Do you think any of them would help you? Do you base your worth more on external factors or do you already understand that your true value lies within? Whatever you’d like to say or ask – please do! I’m happy to help & I always love to hear from you. Get in touch by leaving a comment in the box below.