For my birthday this month, I’ve decided to give myself a gift that will mean something to me. Although I have written myself an actual birthday list, this particular gift can’t be purchased in a store. Starting in this new year of my life, I want to be braver and therefore, I would like to give myself the gift of courage.
This doesn’t mean I want to turn myself into a superhero or head out to do crazy death-defying feats. It also doesn’t mean I’m currently a quivering mass scared of my own shadow. Ideally, it just means finding the courage to release the fears currently holding me back & developing the confidence to step-up, when I’d usually shy away.
Gelong Thubten wasn’t exactly who I was expecting when I sat to listen to a Buddhist monk speak about happiness.
In my mind, monks were quiet, unassuming and dare I say it, non-relatable. Yet, here was a man full of presence & personality – who 25-years previously had been an actor living a wild & excessive lifestyle in New York.
And whilst he did have the shaved head & clothes of a Buddhist monk, that was where my ill-conceived stereotype ended. He was in fact very relatable. Not that I’m saying I can personally relate to living a wild & excessive lifestyle in New York but more that he seemed to get life. To get the demands & challenges. To understand what it’s like to feel unhappy or unfilled.
When he spoke he didn’t look down from a pedestal of righteousness, more embraced you in a compassionate hug with his words. I knew this was someone who would be able to teach me a thing or two.
In fact, I have learnt a lot from him. I’ve heard him speak twice now, took part in a guided meditation led by him and read his book – A Monk’s Guide to Happiness*.
At the moment, emotions can be akin to riding a rollercoaster – am I right?
Anyway, to help combat the lows there are some simple, but effective ways to maintain some balance and hopefully make the ride slightly less daunting.
Last Friday I created & posted this to my social media accounts:
It’s a message I’ve always felt strongly about – I’ve written about self-compassion & the importance of being kind to yourself before – and with everything currently going on, I am compelled to highlight it again.
You see, I applaud anyone who is seeking the positive from this situation. If you’re using lockdown as an opportunity to get fit, write a novel, try new things, that is brilliant. Keep going!
But recently there seems to be unspoken pressure that if you’re not following suit and being your most productive, you’re in someway failing. Please let me assure you, you are not.
Every Monday morning at 7am (London, UK time), I post a series of positive affirmations across all of my social media channels, under the #MondayMantras.
If you’re new to using affirmations, I recommend you take a moment to read: How Can Affirmations Help You (& How to Make Sure They Do).
Essentially though, affirmations have the ability to override negative thinking patterns and bring us into a more positive frame of mind. Which is why I post them regularly with the intention of helping you kickstart your week positively!
Even though I post on a Monday morning, these affirmations can be used at any time – they’re great on any day ending in a ‘y’ to be honest! I’m also aware that not every one of my readers uses social media and won’t have access to them.
So, current climate as it is, I wanted to create a page on Living.Pretty.Happy to be updated weekly and contain all of the affirmations I’ve created for you to access anytime you want!
Daily self-care is mandatory – let me start with that. No matter your circumstances, self-care practices contribute to your overall sense of well-being. And as I mentioned in Why Your Well-Being Matters Most Right Now, practising self-care needs to factor as a top priority.
However, when you’re looking after your kids at home, self-care – for parents, in particular – can easily fall to the bottom of the priority pile. As a parent, I completely get that. My kids’ happiness & well-being is the most important thing to me. But I’m also acutely aware neglecting my needs will inevitably negatively impact not just me, but my kids too.
My policy is not to get swept up in or contribute to negative situations. What I’ve realised is that it’s kind of unavoidable at the moment.
Whenever I write for this site, I always ask – is this helpful? – only posts where I can answer, yes, get published. That has always been my commitment to you. I didn’t want to add to the current noise out there and planned on not writing anything about current events. However, I’ve decided I do have something helpful to say about the new big ‘C’*. So I’m sharing this from a place of helpful intention in the hope it will at least provide some support to someone in need of it right now.
*(who knew how many awful words could be attached to this one letter?)
In all honesty, my mental health has been impacted. The news is overwhelming. I’m human, prone to anxiety and this is certainly spiking it – maybe you can relate? The majority of my family live in Malta. With the island’s 14-day quarantine on arrival, I’m no longer just a plane ride away from them, it’s a horrible feeling – I can’t be there if I’m needed. There is worry for loved ones who fall into the higher-risk category & concern for friends whose livelihood is in pieces right now. It’s a giant unwelcome feeling of no-control. Life on hold, for who really knows how long. Seriously, f*@k you Corona!
The thing that keeps me going – other than my need to function for my kids – is working daily on my well-being. Now more than ever, simple, daily, easily accessible practices provide the biggest payoffs in terms of how happy I – we – can feel in this moment. OK, I can’t control what this bloody thing is doing, but I can control what I do to get myself through it – so can you.
I know you may have heard a lot of this before, but the more times we hear something the more likely it sticks. Please do not underestimate how much these simple actions can help when it comes to looking after your well-being during lockdown.
Something I’m quite embarrassed to admit – but hey I’m going to admit it anyway – is that I’m awful at cleaning my makeup brushes. I just find it so laborious – all the scrubbing and the hours of drying. Trying to find an opportunity when I a) actually have the time & b) actually have the energy for it, has proved elusive to say the least.
It’s not that I never clean them – it’s just that I don’t do them as often as I should. Which, by the way, professionals say is once-a-week. Hats off to you if you manage it, but the time between cleaning my brushes would lead into months. Which knowing what I now know, makes me grimace if I’m honest.
Dirty makeup brushes (and when I say dirty, I mean used) accumulate oil residue, dead skin cells and bacteria which you then sweep straight onto your skin. This can lead to clogged pores, breakouts, cold-sores & general skin irritation. Not to mention stopping the brush performing its’ best for you.
Did you know? A study by Loyola Marymount University found that after one month, uncleaned makeup brushes hoarded more bacteria than they were even able to measure.
When you’re someone who invests time, money & effort into your skincare routine – why would you blow it all the moment you apply your makeup with less than clean brushes?
This was something I asked myself & what led me to make a simple but significant change.
Recently I attended the Plant-Powered Expo in London, an event designed to highlight the benefits of adopting a plant-based lifestyle. Although I don’t currently follow a plant-based or vegan (yes there is a difference) lifestyle, I attended because I was curious. Plant-based living or veganism – in the past few years – has really entered my consciousness & (in my opinion) society as a whole in a way that vegetarianism never quite has.
As I said, I’m not vegan. I’m also not anti-vegan. I’m open-minded. I understand there are evidenced wellness benefits to leading a plant-based lifestyle which I wanted to write about or at least, begin a discussion on.
Whether you classify yourself as vegan or plant-based usually depends on your motivation. Where vegans are often motivated out of compassion for animals, for plant-based dieters, the driving force can be more nutritionally motivated for increased health & longevity.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links (marked with a *). I receive a commission if you visit a link and buy something on my recommendation. Purchasing via an affiliate link doesn’t cost you any extra, and I only recommend products and services I trust. All opinions are my own. For more details see my disclaimer here
OK, I know what you’re thinking…Alex, I know how to say ‘no’ – there you go, I literally just said it!
Whilst I’m certain you know how to say no, let’s be honest, you probably don’t say it as often – or feel as comfortable about saying it – as you should.
The most common feeling we experience is guilt. Which often leads to us over-explaining our reason for saying no, begin profusely apologising for it, or – even worse – lying. And quite frequently, even though we know we should be saying no, we find ourselves saying yes but for all the wrong reasons.
The whole concept of learning how to say no was outlined to me in Chloe Brotheridge’s book, Brave New Girl*
Brotheridge explains, ‘The essential reason we struggle to say no is, we’re worried what people will think’. She continues, ‘What you have to remember is, saying no is good for your mental, physical, emotional, and financial health. It’s a powerful act of self-care and self-love.’
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links (marked with a *). I receive a commission if you visit a link and buy something on my recommendation. Purchasing via an affiliate link doesn’t cost you any extra but does help me fund this site (thank you!) All opinions are my own. For more details see my disclaimer here.
You may have seen these little tools before (they do adorn many an Instagram beauty post) but do you actually know what they are – or perhaps more importantly – how they can benefit you?
With the motivation to introduce you to products & techniques which – I believe – can help improve your skincare routine, allow me to share with you what I know about Gua Sha.
This is an advertorial feature for Life Lessons Festival.
Coming to London this weekend (15-16th February 2020) is a brand new festival promising a never-before-seen take on well-being…
Life can be many things – wonderful, challenging, rewarding, tough, joyful, short. Yes, there are circumstances in life we can’t control but we can be in control of our response to them. This is your life and there are plenty of things you can (and should!) do to increase your enthusiasm & love for it.
Wouldn’t it be great if just like our electronic devices, we came with a charger! I mean, the moment you start to falter you just plug in and boost your energy level right back up to full. Ideal right?
Whilst sadly this solution won’t be available any time soon, there are some easy to implement alternatives to help you feel energised again.
Now, eating healthily and regular exercise are a given, aren’t they? I just want to point that out in case you’re wondering why I haven’t included them. Instead, I want to share with you 5 other natural ways you maybe hadn’t considered yet!
Good to know: If you would like advice on increasing energy through diet the NHS provide helpful guidance here.
One, because it’s the 2nd anniversary of Living.Pretty.Happy and two, because of our focus for this month.
February’s theme is not something we’ve really touched on before but it’s an area I consider to offer us bags of potential for fun!
VITALITY [Well-being definition] Feeling energetic/full of energy.
Yes, our overall health is a big consideration as part of our topic but I want us to focus in more on developing our energy & enthusiasm for life. Let’s work on giving ourselves the type of get-up and go that can really take us places and open doors for a world of opportunity & enjoyment.
Vision boards, dream boards, call-them-what-you-will boards, are perhaps one of the best tools to get you ultra-focused on your goals.
Once you understand your purpose & truly know what you want, I personally see vision boards as the next logical step in helping you achieve all that you aspire to.
Quite simply it’s a board or piece of paper upon which you create a collage of photos, pictures, words & quotes visually representing your goals & dreams.
The idea is to get you focused & motivated to work on and ultimately achieve your goals. By picking images & words that resonate with you and looking at them daily, you’ll strengthen & stimulate all the right emotions to push you forward.
“You are worth more than this” a short statement which held so much power for an acquaintance of mine whilst they were experiencing a period of obsessive behaviour. For them, those six little words were enough to shift their mindset when the behaviour occurred.
Positive, affirmative statements – commonly referred to as affirmations – repeated quietly in our own minds (or declared aloud) can have the ability to override negative thinking and bring us to more desired outcomes.
Maybe you wake up in a bad mood, or something goes wrong (or both!) then, just like a small snowball rolling down a snow-covered hill gaining momentum and size – so too does the awfulness of your day.
The good news? It’s relatively easy to stop a snowball in its tracks, especially if you quash it early enough. And in the same vein, you have the potential to stop a bad day in its tracks by adjusting your mindset.
Why do you need to live your life with purpose? Perhaps you don’t, perhaps you’re perfectly happy without purpose? But perhaps if you ever catch yourself questioning why you do what you do and what it’s all for, or you feel there’s a life you were meant to live which doesn’t quite sync with the one you’re actually living, or you just don’t feel quite fulfilled, then having a purpose could resolve all that.
