5 Ways to be braver

For my birthday this month, I’ve decided to give myself a gift that will mean something to me.  Although I have written myself an actual birthday list, this particular gift can’t be purchased in a store.  Starting in this new year of my life, I want to be braver and therefore, I would like to give myself the gift of courage.

This doesn’t mean I want to turn myself into a superhero or head out to do crazy death-defying feats.  It also doesn’t mean I’m currently a quivering mass scared of my own shadow.  Ideally, it just means finding the courage to release the fears currently holding me back & developing the confidence to step-up, when I’d usually shy away.

I truly believe courage can be cultivated 

Just as we can increase the boundaries of our comfort zones, we too can increase the limits of how brave we can be.   Two years ago if you’d have told me how much of my life I would share on here, I would have gone pale at the thought, but now it feels like second nature.  

We have to understand though that we all operate from a different base point

What feels scary to me may seem ordinary to you & vice versa – I can’t stand heights but will happily hold a snake in my hands.  Someone else might happily jump out of a plane to avoid holding a snake – you get the picture.  

It’s also normal to have fears.  And with some fears, is there any real point in trying to overcome them?  Does it really matter if I don’t zip line through the trees?  (You can read more about that scary experience here!) Nope, not really.  But fears do matter when they hold you back.  When there is something you want to do, things you want to achieve – or perhaps most importantly – living a life that’s true to you & fear is preventing it.  

“What if I fall?…

Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”  This is a beautiful quote from Erin Hanson and I think it captures the nature of fear perfectly.  Quite often we’re so wrapped up in the potential negative outcome of facing our fear that we overlook a more positive alternative.  Well personally, I feel now is the right time for me to start being braver.  

If this is something you would like too – a braver you that is – then here are some practical suggestions to go about it…

#01 Invest in your ‘self’

And by this I mean invest time in gaining self-awareness,  growing in your self-acceptance & building your self-worth.  You can find out more about each of these by clicking on the links, but essentially,  investing the time to learn about, accept & value yourself will naturally boost your confidence levels & encourage you forward.

#02 What is it you’re actually afraid of?

OK, let me give you a personal example on this one.  I am very scared of rollercoasters – I’ve spoken about it before in confessions of a control freak – however, it’s not the rollercoaster itself I’m afraid of.  I could easily sit on a rollercoaster (as long as it wasn’t moving) no, what I’m actually scared of is the loss of control, (not to mention the feeling it gives me in my stomach!)  If I could overcome my fear of not being in control, I’d probably be fine on a rollercoaster.  

So let’s say you’re afraid of giving a presentation.  It’s most likely not the act of giving the presentation, more perhaps the fear of failure, or people judging you or something else.  Again, if you addressed those fears, you’d probably be OK with giving the presentation.  

What I’m leading to here is the need to take a moment to work this out to make sure you’re addressing the right issue.  I can repeat an affirmation stating ‘I love rollercoasters’ 100-times, but it won’t make a bit of difference if I’m focusing on the wrong area.   Once you work out the actual fear, then focus on ways to address it.  

#03 What’s the worst that could happen?

Marie Forleo, in her best-selling book, Everything is Figureoutable*, explains fear often stops us because we don’t slow down enough to question it or work out how likely our fears are to come true.  Her advice?  Write down your absolute worst-case scenario, the reason you’re holding yourself back.  Rate it out of 10 for likeliness to occur (0 being improbable – 10 being practically guaranteed) then write down an action plan for how you would ‘recover, rebuild & get back on your feet’.   Often when we articulate our fears, really take time to examine them, their power is reduced.  The idea of this particular exercise is to give you the reassurance that even if the worst did happen – which is often highly unlikely, but still – you’d be able to get through it and you’d ultimately be OK.  

RELATED: Catastrophe to calmness – A technique to calm your worrying thoughts

#04 List the benefits

Alternatively named, set your eyes on the prize.  More often than not, the benefits will be the catalysts to overrule the fear and encourage action.  Make a list of all the positive benefits of taking that brave action.  If you want to launch a new business, but you have a fear of failure – think about how you’d feel if it was a success.  What would that mean to you?  For your life?  For your loved ones?   List out every positive factor and focus on them.  Going back to the Erin Hanson quote – what if the best happened?  What if what you fear will happen didn’t & what you actually want, did  – isn’t that worth being brave for?  

RELATED: Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

#05 Take it step by step, acknowledging how far you’ve come

I understand fear can be overwhelming.  And as with anything overwhelming, it’s important to break it down into more manageable chunks.  Several smaller actions still add up to one braver you.  Go at your pace.  But most importantly, always take a moment to acknowledge each win, each fear you face, regardless of the outcome, you tried and that’s brilliant!  

My #bebolderchallenge

I’m personally taking one small step in being brave each day.  In fact, each day throughout this month I’ve decided to complete a random daily challenge from my ‘Spark Courage’* box.  The box contains 50 faux matchsticks each with an activity on it designed to encourage you to take leaps, face fears & speak your mind!  If you would like to find out more – or maybe even join in(!) – I’m posting the challenge I’ve randomly selected each morning on my IG stories & Twitter feed before going off to complete it and returning in the evening to let you know how I’ve got on.  

Additionally – something I haven’t shared on social yet – I’m placing the matchsticks of the challenges I’ve completed in a jar. The idea is the fuller the jar, the further I’ve come & the braver I’ll be – well that’s the plan!  I’d love it if you’d join me! 

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Related Reads:

• I’m new here: 10 ways to feel more confident in new situations

• Give it a go! Becoming more open to new experiences

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How do you get on with facing your fears & being brave? Do you find it easy to find your courage & act when you want? Do you have any tips to add? Or stories to share? Whatever you’d like to say, please do leave a comment in the box below – I always love to hear from you!

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