Have you ever tried a colouring book for adults before? I hadn’t, until one moment a few years ago, when shopping with my Sister-in-Law, she announced how she loved it and found colouring very therapeutic and calming. I was sceptical, my eyebrows raised slightly but then thought – why the heck not, I’ll give it a go and bought it. Colouring is now something I really enjoy and use to de-stress.
The same can be said recently when my Aunty requested I take her to bingo. I had never been before or felt the desire too – the thought of a bingo hall had previously made me cringe – but I love my Aunty, wanted to make her happy and as a wannabe good niece, we went. Well, you can call me Cilla, because surprise, surprise, I had a lot of fun. So much so, that when the Bloggers Inspired team & I were invited to Players Bingo in Camden recently, I jumped at the chance – I even won some money on that visit!
You can read all about our Players Bingo experience here
Quite light examples I grant you, but this sort of thing has happened (at various levels) a lot to me throughout my life so far. Opportunities put in front of me which I’m initially sceptical of, but actually, turn out to be positive experiences when I’ve just opened my mind optimistically and given them a go.
Why should we be open to new experiences?
I can’t say this is the case for every experience. I’ve definitely had my fair share where I’ve thought, never again. Please do not get me started on rollercoasters or zip wires!
But even in the experiences where it didn’t go so well, I’ve at least come to know myself a little better from it.
This isn’t an advocation of saying yes to everything. I want to be really clear about this. I’m all for owning your ‘no’ and using it when something is potentially detrimental to you – I’ll talk more about this in a moment.
The point I’m reaching for here is, it’s important to our overall well-being to be open to new experiences.
Don’t allow pessimistic thoughts or close-mindedness to overtake you. Instead allow yourself, if it feels right, to just take a deep breath and give it a go. You never know where it will lead or how much happier it might make you.
Ways to be more open to new experiences
Challenge your no
Why are you saying no? Is it something you could push through? If your no is fear-based, where’s the evidence what you’re scared of will actually happen (and even if it did – how bad would it actually be?)
Be kind to yourself
Think of how you would speak to a loved one who was apprehensive, but willing to give something a try. Extend this care to yourself, speak with a loving, positive internal voice.
RELATED: Are you kind to yourself? The importance of kindness.
Expect it to go well
Think of how you’ll feel if you have a great experience. Use optimism to counter-measure any nerves.
Worry less about what others will think
When I started meditating and practising mindfulness I worried about how others would judge me. Truth is you’ll never be able to control what other’s think of you. So rather than suppress yourself, you might as well live as you want. I for a fact know, if I had let the judgement of others stop me meditating, my mental well-being would have suffered.
Use this phrase: I’ll handle it
Susan Jeffers author of one of my favourite books, Feel the fear & do it anyway, advocates use of this short but powerful sentence. She states it helps you to “develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way.” Developing this underlying confidence will lead you to naturally start becoming more open to new experiences.
I just want to counterbalance this post with a short note about times when you’re absolutely right to say no.
Sometimes we can find it just as hard to say no to something as we can to say yes. You probably already know these yourself, but just to be clear…
Times when it’s right to say no*:
- When you don’t feel safe
- If it’s something you’ll strongly resent doing
- If it puts your mental or physical well-being at risk
- When a romantic or sexual advance makes you feel uncomfortable
- When you just don’t have the capacity
And if in doubt, seek out a trusted friend or family member for a second opinion!
*Source credit: Some of these suggestions are taken from Chloe Brotheridge’s book, Brave New Girl, which is a highly recommended read.
I am desperate to try ziplining but I’m pretty nervous about it too! Great post. I started using adult colouring books a few years ago and I thoroughly enjoy it.
Let me know if you try it! Would love to know how you found it. The colouring books are great aren’t they?! So good for zoning out and getting creative. Thanks Charlotte! x
Such a great post. True that we need to be open to new experiences. We might feel reluctant to try out new things but they are totally worth it. 😊
Thank you! They definitely can be and if they don’t work out they offer us a lot in learning about yourselves too 🙂
Exactly!
😊😊
This is such a great post 🙂
I really like that you also included when it’s okay to say no, because I think it’s so hard to strike the right balance sometimes. I am going on holiday in a few weeks and I haven’t been on a new, big holiday for years – I am looking forward to using some of these tips to help me try new things! Especially just expecting it to go well – simple, but effective 🙂
Thanks!
Sammy | Self-Care Sloth
Thanks Sammy – yes it definitely can be difficult to get the balance right. Wishing you the best time on your holiday and getting to experience lots of new and wonderful things! X
I tried sky cycling and it was all kinds of thrilling and scary and full of adrenaline. And it was super fun, I’m willing to try it again! 😀 I love your advice on challenging our “no”. Because recently, we’ve been told to learn how to say no. Which I fully support but there are definitely times when challenging our no is important, especially when it’s a no that’s rooted from baseless fear (i.e, fear of moving forward and fear of failure among others)
Awesome post as usual, Alex!
Kate | https://allthetrinkets.com
Wow sky cycling! I just had to look that up – how brave are you?! That’s amazing! I’m pleased the challenging of our no resonated with you. Thanks so much for your kind words Kate – Can’t wait to hear what you try next! x
I definitely need to adopt thing more into my life. I feel like I’ve censored myself so much and missed out on a lot just cause I was scared of taking the leap or risk. I want to try and change that though
Trying anything new can be scary – but sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and give it a go. Even if we fall flat on our faces, we’re capable of getting back up. Would you feel happier coming from a position of ‘at least I tried’ than the position of never having tried at all? Start small and build your confidence. I think you’re braver than you think and remember – you’ll handle it! x
This is me this year! Trying new experiences and bingo is fun. Caring less about what other people think is a good reminder for everyone and one of the things I love about getting older. Great post!
Thanks Sandy & thank you for your very wise words here too x