On a hot and slightly crowded London underground train just over a year ago, I did the unthinkable*… I paid a random stranger a compliment.
*if you’ve ever been on the underground you’ll understand why this is not normal tube behaviour.
The stranger looking slightly pensive stood nervously smoothing down her dress, whilst trying to catch her reflection in the window. In that instant, I wanted to offer some reassurance. As she caught my eye I simply said, ‘You look great. That’s a beautiful dress.’ Her whole face lit up. She smiled and replied, ‘thank you, I needed to hear that.’
I hadn’t done much that day, but that one small random act of kindness – seeing her reaction and knowing I’d helped – made me feel happier too.
Practising kindness (and receiving kindness) can positively impact our well-being.
Plenty of empirical evidence suggests that simple acts of kindness bring us happiness. Which is why we should all be carrying them out more!
“We should be seeking out opportunities to do acts of kindness… There is a lot of happiness bang for your buck simply doing kind things.”
Laurie Santos
What is a random act of kindness?
You may have heard the term kicking about quite a bit over the last few years, but what does it actually mean?
Well, a random act of kindness involves an intentional effort to do something nice for others without the expectation of gaining anything in return. It’s also good to note that kindness is not an emotion or feeling, it’s a behaviour which can adopt many forms.
How do random acts of kindness impact your well-being and increase how happy you feel?
Random Acts of Kindness Org have created this short, helpful video. Don’t worry if you’re unable to watch it right now, I’ll also explain the benefits below.
Studies1 have suggested random acts of kindness can:
- Make you feel happier, more confident, more resilient and empowered.
- Increase your level of self-worth.
- Reduce stress and anxiety levels, as well as lessen depressive symptoms.
- Help your energy levels to rise.
- Push your body to produce serotonin the ‘feel-good’ chemical helping towards healing & feelings of calm.
- Increase oxytocin the ‘love’ hormone for all involved, helping to lower blood pressure, improve overall heart health whilst increasing self-esteem and optimism.
- Generate endorphins, the brain’s ‘natural painkiller’ to help decrease pain.
That’s a lot of good right?
And these benefits are not just felt by the person receiving the act of kindness, or the person giving, but also anyone who witnesses it as well. When I paid a stranger on the tube a compliment, it didn’t just help her or me, but potentially anyone who saw it happen too.
Additionally, people who receive kindness (or see it happen) are much more likely to carry out their own random act of kindness too. Think about how many people your one small act could end up benefitting. That has to make you feel even better, doesn’t it?
“There is no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end”
Scott Adams
How many random acts of kindness do you need to do in order to impact your well-being?
Just one act can help, in fact, a 2006 study by Otake et al, discovered that even just thinking about acting kindly helped increase participants happiness levels.
However, for the greatest difference, making random acts of kindness a regular habit is going to have the biggest impact on your well-being and how happy you’ll feel.
It’s suggested we should aim to conduct 5 random acts of kindness each week. You can spread them out how best works for you. Although, studies2 suggest multiple acts in one day boost happiness the most.
Will random acts of kindness cost money?
They certainly don’t have to. Paying genuine compliments, holding open a door, helping a neighbour carry their shopping bags from their car, all cost nothing.
However, it’s also OK if you do decide to spend money on your random acts of kindness. But how much? It might be helpful to know, spending a large amount won’t necessarily make you feel happier. In 2008, Dunn et al found that spending money on others does actually increases our happiness but, whether that’s £5, or £20, (or more), the happiness effect experienced was the same.
Good to Know: This study was conducted across multiple cultures and irrespective of the value placed on the money, the happiness effect was the same.
Here are some ideas of kind acts you could preform:
This sheet is free to download and print if you wish.
25-Random-Acts-of-KindnessThere is also a wealth of kindness ideas available via randomactsofkindness.org
It’s good to be kind…
With numerous ways to act kindly and such big well-being benefits on offer – not just for you but for all who encounter it – kindness is certainly one worthwhile habit to make a priority.
Whilst you’re off spreading kindness, don’t forget to show yourself some kindness too! Read: The importance of being kind to yourself
Source references:
- Can Random Acts of Kindness Increase Well-Being? Ericka Stoerkel MSc. for Positive Psychology.com
- Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Lyubomirsky (2005). Review of general psychology, 9(2), 111.
Do you already carry out random acts of kindness? How do they make you feel? Did you realise you realise the potential level of beneficial impact they can have? Do you have any kind act suggestions of your own to add to the list? Whatever it is you’d like to say, or ask, just leave me a comment in the box below; I’m happy to help and I always love to hear from you!
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Loved hearing about your own random act of kindness Alex and it’s truly amazing how powerful kindness can be for our wellbeing. I also agree that random acts of kindness shouldn’t just be done on a dedicated day, but it does act as a great reminder as to why we should do them. I’d like to try and do them more often this year and I love your printable too, so I’ll be using that for inspo. Thanks for another great post!
Gemma x
The more you do, the happier you’ll feel and the more natural it will become. Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts Gemma (and also for your kind words, which are always appreciated!) x
Ah, such a wonderful post Alex and I’m a big believer in ‘giving to receive’ as in not expecting anything back, but rather taking pleasure in doing good for people. I always think of people ‘passing it on’ if they’ve experienced something nice from a stranger. And I LOVE your random acts of kindness ideas!