A Month to Be Bolder (and some helpful lessons I learnt along the way)

A month or so ago I embarked on a little challenge (although it felt pretty big to me) on Instagram which I named the ‘Be Bolder Challenge’.  

I’ll go more into the specifics in a bit, but basically, for the whole month, I challenged myself to complete a daily activity designed to help me become bolder.  

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They don’t call it a challenge for nothing! 

For near on a month, I pushed beyond the boundaries of my comfort zone.  I cannot tell you how many deep breaths were taken in the course of completing some of the activities. 

However I have to say, it did help me to be bolder.  My comfort zone expanded & I learnt a lot about myself in the process.  Which in my opinion makes all the awkward uncomfortable bits worth it.  

Why did I want to be bolder?

Although I’m a reasonably confident person, I’ve always been quite hidden.  I’m not one to willingly put my head above the parapet so to speak.  I struggle to be vulnerable in front of others & I have a bit of an ongoing fling with perfectionism.  All of which hamper my growth & how successful I could potentially be.  

For a while now I’ve been encouraged to ‘find my voice’ and to be honest, it was never that I didn’t know how to find it, more how to turn the volume up on it and use it.  

A spark of courage

During a bit of an office tidy, I came across something I had received in one of my WILDWOMAN self-care boxes; a blue & gold matchbox with the words ’Spark Courage: 50 Ways to Be Bold’ written on the front.  

Inside it contained 50-faux matchsticks each featuring a prompt designed to ‘inspire you to take leaps, face your fears & speak your mind’.  Taking a closer look, I realised this was just the tool I needed to get me moving & growing in the right direction.  

A leap of faith 

Early one morning, I announced to my IG community that each day I would be drawing a match at random, sharing what it said before going off to get on with it.  I’d then return at the end of the day to update everyone on what I had done to complete it.  

I covered 25 activities all with differing results.  Some were more fun than others but they were all an equally important part of my personal growth journey.  

25 ways to be bolder (and some helpful lessons I learnt along the way)

I’ve created a ‘Be Bolder Challenge Sheet’ download for you here.  It includes every single challenge I undertook.  Feel free to download and have a go yourself! 

Now here’s where I want to share a little bit of advice in helping you to become bolder as it relates to this challenge sheet…

– Face the unknown

I was asked a few times why I didn’t create a ‘Be Bolder Calendar’ to share at the start of the challenge.  This was something I decided against as I believe part of what makes you bolder is facing the unknown.  Yes, I had an idea of what some of the matchsticks had written on them, but I didn’t know whether I would draw them out.  

If I’d have known what was coming, it would have given me more time to think it through, maybe even prepare.  I’d have time to work out something that fell within my existing comfort zone, kind of defeating the purpose of the exercise.  

This way I was committed, I had to think on my feet and get on with it.  Which made me push myself even harder, I adopted a kind of ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’ attitude to it all.  Ultimately, for me, this was a course in feel the fear and do it anyway.  

So although I’ve shared the sheet with you, I would encourage you to cut it up into the individual challenges, fold each challenge up, place in a bowl and draw at random.  This way you’ll really get the full effect.

However, I would rather you tried than not, so if that’s too far out of your comfort zone, just cross them off as you go along.  Either way, you’re still being bolder with each challenge you complete.

– Accountability is key

I appreciate not everyone is going to want to publicly challenge themselves on social media.  But we are far more likely to complete something if we’re being held accountable.  

Funnily enough, one of the challenges was to ‘set a lofty goal, and have a friend hold you accountable’ which is how I committed to an accountability partnership and am now working towards a very lofty goal!   

If you don’t want to share it on Instagram (other social platforms are available) I would definitely recommend you at least have someone to keep track & encourage you on.  How much will you push yourself when you’re only accountable to yourself?  I know I wouldn’t have.  

– Set reasonable expectations of yourself

You absolutely need to commit to becoming bolder, however, over committing is certainly not wise.  I knew how much this would emotionally take from me, so I decided early on to give myself weekends off from it.  Two days each week for a bit of breathing space.  This way it didn’t become overwhelming and meant I kept going.  

But I did overcommit on some of the tasks…

For my ‘Sign up for a class, or ask someone to teach you something’ task not only did I ask my Maltese cousin to teach me some Maltese (which I spoke on my IG stories), I also signed up for a course to learn the Maltese language.  

Sharing on a public account me speaking in a foreign language was nerve-wracking for me.  Really that should have been enough.  Yes, I do want to learn Maltese, however, at the moment I’ve too many other priorities.  Overwhelming yourself is not the point of this challenge.  

Thankfully, I learnt my lesson and whilst I did commit to starting a newsletter for my ‘start something’ task, I was clear I needed more time than one day to design, build & implement it.  So for that challenge, just making the commitment publicly was enough. 

And before you all start shouting ‘cop-out’ I have since gone on to launch my newsletter. (As promised!)  If you’d like to stay up-to-date with all the latest Living.Pretty.Happy news, special offers and exclusive content you won’t find on here, I’d love you to sign up…

Live Life Happier!

– Just do it (sorry Nike)

This is a simple but true fact, the best way to become bolder is to just act.  We can have the greatest intentions in the world, but unless we take action, that is all they will remain… intentions.  And how far do good intentions get us really?  

– Allow yourself to bask in your own successes  

Past successes are a massive confidence boost.  One of the challenges is actually to list previous brave acts.  It doesn’t matter how small you believe the win to be, it all counts.  It’s like an extra nod of confidence.

Top tip: Keep a success diary and write your daily wins in it.

I also placed a cleaned-out jam jar on my desk and put each completed challenge matchstick into it.  The filling jar represented to me how much I was growing and encouraged me to keep going. I’ve included a printable version of the label I used on mine if you would like to use it too, below.  

Save

– It’s OK to fail

This was the biggest lesson learnt for me.  Honestly, I didn’t succeed in every challenge I undertook.  For my ‘find a role model’ challenge, I went big and sought out comedy legend Miranda Hart for advice.  I sought the advice rather publicly on Instagram.  I heard nothing back.   Literally nothing.  

I put myself out there and fell flat.  And do you know what?  It’s OK, I was OK.  A little embarrassed, but ultimately fine.  And do you know what else?  A few positives came out of it:

• I got lots of support & engagement from my lovely IG community.  
• It gave me a chance to reflect and understand what I could do differently next time.
• I felt a lot bolder just for having tried – which was the aim of this challenge all along.

Even in what seems like a negative situation, there are positive opportunities for growth.  And I strongly believe it’s better to have tried and failed than to have not tried at all.  

– One person’s comfort zone is another person’s uncomfortable zone

Something that became apparent to me as the challenge progressed is you’re already completing bold acts in your daily life.  Actions that you don’t really bat an eyelid at, are seen as out of someone else’s comfort zone.  

Some of the challenges I pulled-out I had to re-draw as they didn’t really feel like a ‘challenge’ to me.  However, I can understand how they might feel challenging to others.  I can also appreciate that some of the challenges I felt scared about completing were very normal to others.    

For example, I talk publicly on Instagram, publish a personal blog and happily chat to random strangers I meet in coffee shops (or anywhere if I’m being honest, I’m really chatty) but to others, that’s a big deal.  What I’m trying to say is, don’t underestimate how bold you already are.  Don’t undervalue your existing confidence.  

Are you ready to be bolder?

If you try even just one of the activities that’s great and hopefully, it will encourage you to keep trying even more.  Growth is a continual process, after all. (Personally, I’m keeping going with my own challenge too – there are still another 25 matchsticks in the box!)  

Crucially for me, I’ve noticed in general I’ve procrastinated less, been myself more, expanded my comfort zone and actually fulfilled some big personal goals since embarking on the challenge.  Now if that’s not a reason for me to continue to be bolder – or an incentive for you to try building your courage – I don’t know what is! 

If you’d like to purchase the Spark Courage Matchbox for yourself (or someone you think it will encourage) you can find out more here

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Want some extra help in building your courage?  Read: 5 Ways to Be Braver

Have you tried any of these activities before? Are there any ideas you would add? I wish you lots of success if you give the challenge a go! Let me know how you get on or if you need any encouragement! Whatever you’d like to say or ask, just drop me a comment in the box below; I’m happy to help and I always love to hear from you.

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