We all have times when we’re down on ourselves. There was a time not so long ago when I genuinely couldn’t say one nice thing about myself, which is crazy because we all have something good in us.
Society doesn’t advocate the loud blowing of our own trumpets. It’s less comfortable to say why we think we’re great and far easier to publish our self-perceived bad points. It doesn’t help when said ‘bad points’ are reinforced by people who may not have our best interests at heart (more on that in a moment.)
But look, how we feel about ourselves matters. It impacts our mental health and day-to-day life. It’s beyond important to love yourself more, to raise your self-esteem, to recognise your worth and feel better about yourself on the whole – trust me, you’ll be much happier for it (and so will those around you).
With that said, I’ve compiled eight suggested strategies to help you on your way to feeling better about yourself right now.
8 Helpful Ways to Feel Better About Yourself
#01 Challenge Negative Self-Talk.
What you say about yourself defines how you feel about yourself. Even self-put-down jokes can have a detrimental effect over time – take it from the self-proclaimed Queen of them. Yes, we don’t want to take ourselves too seriously, but being overly harsh is a recipe for a low self-esteem disaster.
Start with making a conscious note every time you think negatively about yourself. If you can, write those thoughts down; then take time to read through them. What are the common themes? Highlight any ‘absolute’ thoughts such as, ‘I always mess up‘, ‘Everyone thinks I’m an idiot‘ and then break them down: Where is the evidence to support these statements? What other plausible interpretations are there for the situation? Look for examples to positively counterbalance the argument. For example, ‘I always mess up.’ is neutralised with ‘I made a mistake in this instance, but I have got multiple things right such as X, Y & Z’.
Recognising, challenging & replacing these negative thoughts will help you feel better about yourself. P.S. This is something you’ll get better at with practice.
#02 Use Affirmations
My current go-to affirmation, ‘YES YOU CAN‘, is ultra helpful at injecting a shot of much-needed self-belief. It’s why I’ve pinned it where I can see it daily. It’s only a simple statement, but that’s the beauty of affirmations; they’re simple yet powerful.
Don’t just take my word for it; research has demonstrated their worth. Repeating a simple positive statement daily (or multiple times daily) helps to gradually train your neural pathways to form positive expectations of yourself.
Yes, at first, it can seem a bit unnatural to stand there telling yourself something you don’t quite believe yet, but with time you will. Begin with positive I AM… statements. I’ve included some suggestions below. Remember to repeat them daily, stick with them and before you know it, you’ll be feeling much better about yourself.
Click here for more information on affirmations and my top tips to get them working for you! You can also access over 100+ positive affirmations here.
#03 Bid Farewell to Toxic Tinas
Your network (the people you surround yourself with) can significantly affect your self-perception. How they treat you impacts how good you feel about yourself. Even people with the thickest skins can get ground down by regular Toxic Tina put-downs; choose your people wisely.
Growing up, my Mum was a fantastic source for positively boosting my self-esteem, countering that another family member was very anti-me. When my Mum sadly passed away, the positive reinforcement she provided went too, and I was left with someone who (no matter how hard I tried) only reinforced the negatives. It was a toxic situation. Every time my inner critic would pipe up, I heard their voice; such was their influence on me. Anyway, a few years ago, I found the courage to say enough and walked away from the toxicity. I was fortunate to have built a loving, supporting and encouraging network around me and over time, I no longer heard their negative voice anymore.
Please do not give time to people who relish making you feel rubbish about yourself. Wishing them well and moving on will allow you the space to work on building a more positive (and accurate) perception of yourself.
#04 Learn to Handle Constructive Criticism
As a highly sensitive person, I need to work on this. It’s important to realise not all criticism is harmful, especially if given to help you improve. When receiving feedback, try to still the part of you that goes into panic or defensive mode and allow yourself the space to listen. You don’t need to respond instantly; saying something like ‘thanks for the feedback, I’ll take some time to reflect on it.’ is enough.
Next, objectively look at what was said. You still might not agree with it, or the advice might not align with your values; however, there may be a lesson or a positive action to take from it. You can’t grow if you don’t know!
#05 Forgive Yourself
Such a tricky one, right?! We’re often quicker to forgive others than ourselves, but holding on to guilt or shame will make it hard for you to feel better about yourself. You have to start the process of letting go.
For my top tips on self-forgiveness, read: How to Forgive Yourself (and why it’s essential that you do)
#06 Take Good Care of Yourself
Self-care, self-care, self-care! Wash your face, brush your hair, go for that walk, eat well, practise mindfulness, read, binge watch Ru Paul’s Drag Race (just me?), do something you enjoy and keep going. When you’re addressing your needs and looking after yourself, you can’t help but feel better.
Here are two related posts to help take care of yourself more:
How to practice self-care without feeling selfish
5 Ways to make self-care more effective
#07 Build Better Habits (and try to ditch bad ones)
Having good habits, such as exercise, connecting with others more, healthy nutrition, positive sleep practices, etc. help us feel happier and better.
Habits are slow to form but difficult to shift once established. I’ve learnt helpful research-based ways to make habits stick, and I’ve shared them here. These tips work just as well to help you ‘unstick’ bad habits too.
#08 Celebrate Yourself
Let’s address the awkward elephant in the room – praising yourself can feel ‘icky’ but isn’t illegal. I’ll give it a go if you will? Begin to train your mind to notice the win, the positive moment, the highlights. Again, please write it down at first, get your brain primed to spot and appreciate the good stuff. Prevent the positive thought from escaping quicker than The Flash, sit with it for a while and let yourself feel all the warm & fuzzy feelings from it – you did good, give yourself some credit, you deserve it after all!
Enjoyed 8 Helpful Ways to Feel Better About Yourself? Then Why Not Try: How to Truly Love Yourself (In a Non-Self-Centred Way)
SOURCE REFERENCES:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/emotional-fitness/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
How do you generally feel about yourself? It’s something I’m personally currently working on. What do you do to make yourself feel better? Do you have any top tips of your own to share? Whatever you’d like to say -or ask – please do. I’m happy to help and I always love to hear from you!
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